a trip to the grocery store

We do not remember days, we remember moments.

-Cesare Pavese

Tonight when I got home from a very long day at work, my hubby greeted me with arms wide open, a big smile, and lots of kisses.  I know I love him, but there are random moments where I am reminded of the depth of my love for him.  He’s so generous.  Sweet.  And warm.  I love him.  

We took a trip to Trader Joe’s on an empty stomach (bad idea) and while he pushed the cart and I tossed things in, he smiled at me with that “I’m so happy to be with you” smile.  We laughed at how full our cart was when our intention was to just go pick up some lunchmeat.  Before I knew it, our impromptu trip to the grocery store became one of my favorite memories.  And tonight, I felt something new.   It was one of those special moments that as lame as it sounds to anyone else, will never be completely recreated.  

I felt married.  :)  Loved. Optimistic. Safe. Carefree. Happy.  

I can’t wait to go to Trader Joe’s with him when I’m 60. I will fall asleep with a smile on my face just after I pray to my God that everyone, regardless of their sexual orientation, will be able to share in my joy.

Image Credit: The Image is Found

Progress is progress

America, we have come so far. We have seen so much. But there is so much more to do. So tonight, let us ask ourselves – if our children should live to see the next century; if my daughters should be so lucky to live as long as Ann Nixon Cooper, what change will they see? What progress will we have made?

-President-elect Barack Obama

Yesterday, we elected Senator Barack Obama into the Presidency by an electoral college landslide.  When I heard the news, I felt I could breathe easier, not solely because I got what I wanted, but because America did what was right.  We showed up, we left no room for error, no room for recounts, no room for doubt.  America didn’t speak, America shouted.  When Obama appeared on stage to deliver his acceptance speech, I was in tears. My whole life, I have been embarrassed that our country has allowed only one demographic to hold the Presidency.  I am thankful that my children, our children – will be born into a different country.  I felt our history change.  I was very proud for 30 minutes.

If you live in California, you might know why my joy was cut short.  The vote on Proposition 8 – The Elimination of the Right for Same-Sex couples to marry

For the past few months, after the California Supreme Court ruled a gay marriage ban unconstitutional in May 2008, gay marriages have been legally granted in California.  Yesterday, we voted to overturn that ruling, banning gay marriage once again.  Come on California.   The margin was much slimmer than in 2000 when we voted on this issue, so there has been some progress (probably in thanks to the positioning) but the fact that our state, a leader in equality and tolerance, has voted to remove equal rights, embarrases me a great deal.

Over the last few weeks, I have had extensive discussion with many people regarding Prop 8, some who agree with the measure and those who don’t.  What has always gotten to me is that people who disagree with gay marriage, do so because their religion tells them so.  This frustrates me for obvious reasons but I heard a better argument this year.  One of my good friends, who I respect a great deal, argued that it’s not fair for California to redefine marriage when the church was the one to create it.  She is right.  A public popular vote should not re-define anyones private religious principles.  But that’s not what we were voting on.  We were voting to re-define the State of California’s definition of marriage.  The bible doesn’t outline the State of California’s marriage tax benefits, health care laws, and inheritance rights.  We are voting on equal rights under the law. 

Because ”marriage” is a religious institution, perhaps the only answer is to eliminate the term from public legislation and move forward with one term that defines the state’s acknowledgement of the union of two people.  We cannot continue to have two definitions, one will always be superior, leaving those relationships without the title with an inferior regard.  It’s time to think outside the box.  This back and forth is not doing the job.

So to answer Obama’s question above…”What change will they see? What progress will we have made?”

I hope our children will experience freedom.  Real freedom.  Freedom to achieve a dream not only regardless of race, but regardless of gender, disability, religion, and sexual preference.  We are only one step closer than we were yesterday.  I have always felt discriminated against because I am a woman, I know those who feel the same because of a disability.  Prop 8 made it clear I am confined to live under the rules of another’s religion….and I can only imagine the devastation that must be felt waking up today in a gay family. 

President-elect Barack Obama said, “The road ahead will be long. Our climb will be steep. We may not get there in one year or even one term, but America – I have never been more hopeful than I am tonight that we will get there. I promise you – we as a people will get there.”  I believe him.

I am hopeful we can figure this out.  Progress is progress, and I am thankful to have at least something to be proud of.

 Image Cred: San Francisco Sentinial